This summer has turned out to be a very busy one thus far, with things changing all around! 

When I was 11, we moved from the Village in Northern Alaska to the home that my parents inhabited for over 20 years. I spent my teens in this house and came back to it again after leaving Guam to live in my parents’ basement. This house has seen things, been through things, and housed years of laughter, joy, and love. I never thought my parents would leave it, but this last Friday, that is exactly what they did. 

They packed the car, packed the motorcycle trailer, loaded up their three dogs, and left to drive through Canada to their new home in Oklahoma near my extended family. It was a bittersweet moment watching them leave the driveway for the last time, leaving me and those who love me behind to clean up what was left and prepare ourselves to make similar trips later this summer. Hopefully our own trip will go smoother than theirs has. I have been tracking their progress along with many others of my family. Really they should be almost through Canada by now if not all the way through but have been stopped by some wildfires that have shut down part of that highway. My parents, like me, are making the most of the situation though and my dad has met new people and found a friend for his large dog, another equally large dog, that is helping keep their spirits bright. 

I had considered buying this house from them before I got sick. It was offered to me at a discounted price due to its current condition and the fact that I am family. My mom wanted to keep the house in the family as she is very emotionally attached to it and part of the stipulation of be buying it would have been that I couldn’t sell it until she died. If I hadn’t gotten sick I would have stayed, bought the house, and would be putting furniture in it that is ours and cleaning to take ownership of the space.

Getting sick changed things. It made me realize that I needed better healthcare and a good support system. Better than what this location could give me at least. But something good has come of those changes. 

My younger brother has a family, a wife and kids, that would love growing up in this house like we did. When I leave later this summer, it is them that will be taking over and so it is them that I am decluttering this house for now and that has been a great motivator for me. 

I have been expending a lot of energy to get this house ready for our own move and for my brothers family to move in. My mom, who is similar to me in health if not worse, did what she could do but they left a lot behind. I have spent four days now going through spaces clearing what was unnecessary clutter using more energy than I have to use if I am being honest. At the end of every day my feet are screaming at me, my ankles are swollen, and I am tired. I took a legitimate rest day yesterday because it was needed. 

But part of what has kept me going, working, is the memories of this house and the fact that I will miss it when I am gone. There hasn’t been a single room that I have gone through that I haven’t found some object or some damage to the house that hasn’t brought back found memories. In the hall closet was the bear spray tucked away in a corner and the old VHS that was kept around for god only knows what. In the smaller of the bedrooms where my friend is now staying, the dimmer lights I’d use to read by as my parents would threaten to take my books away. The master bedroom where layers of paint have been worn away to reveal different colors underneath each telling a story of a time in our lives that reflect what those rooms have been through. The kitchen (the room that has given me the most trouble) with its memories of kitchen fires, bear spray, families meals, jam sessions, and games. 

I am sad that later this summer I will be leaving this house. I am sad that this house is no longer home to my mother and father who made this house a home for my brother and I. I am glad, however, that my brother will be able to make this house a home for his family and am grateful for the time I do get to spend in it before I and my loved ones vacate it to take the time to enjoy the memories and make a few more ones before we leave. 

-Dare