*This is part of the Life Lessons Series*

Growing up, I guess it is fair to say that I was a little bit of a tomboy, mostly in the fact that I loved going on adventures and roughhousing with my brother and father. My brother and I, growing up, would frequently wrestle, box, and sword fight each other with sticks found in the backyard. 

I have knocked him out more than once during our boxing sessions. So much that one year for Christmas, my parents got us boxing gloves so I would stop doing that. I just learned how to hit harder. 

We had a game we would play in which we would use a practice soccer ball attached to a bungee cable to fling it full speed at each other and see if we could duck in time. We also would take turns kicking each other as hard as we could in certain sensitive areas to see who would give up first. The fact that my brother has two beautiful children is a surprise to me, if I am being fully honest, knowing what I know about how hard I’ve kicked him and how many times. 

Some may think that this was mean and my parents should have stopped it. 

1. They tired. We enjoyed the roughhousing a lot. 
2. When they finally gave up on stopping it, they realized that we didn’t use violence as retaliation when angry. They had taught us better than that and given us more useful conflict resolution skills we still use to this day. That was how we played a lot, and that was good survival skills.

As my brother and I got older, my parents had to consider that we were going to start dating soon and needed to decide what rules they were going to put into place for us. At first, I thought the rules they decided on were unfair, but on further reflection, they were geniuses. 

My brother had to learn to ballroom dance. This taught him respect for ladies and gave him the skills necessary to escort a woman around a dance floor in impressive ways, sure to win hearts. Being the gentle, albeit clumsy, giant he is now, those dancing skills came in handy. 

I, on the other hand, had to have at least one full year of self-defense or martial arts under my belt. 

With what is happening in our world and the way some people treat women, I am glad to have those self-defense skills and have further expanded on those skills since their original obtainment. At the time, however, I did not fully appreciate the value of what my parents were giving me. 

After mastering the side kick, front kick, and round house kick with my martial arts instructor (according to him, I had one of the best roundhouses he’d ever seen), it was time to introduce me to the flying front kick. I was thrilled to learn the jumping kick and was eager to practice it at home.

It is important to note at this time that my brother and I have both gone through a round of braces, and on this particular day, my brother had gotten out of his braces just the week previous. He was the one who wanted to spar, and I, eager to try my new kick, was all too willing to oblige. 

We squared up in the back yard, a few punches were exchanged and blocked, then, feeling confident I had judged the distance correctly so as not to hurt him, I performed the new kick. 

*WHAM* 

I had judged the distance wrong, and the kick took him right to the face. 

With blood streaming down his face, mingling with tears and snot, my brother found his way into the house where my mother did a damage assessment. I will never forget the moment when my dad proudly paused his video game and walked over to see the damage done as my brother congratulated me on the well-performed kick through the tears. 

I had bloodied his nose, ripped his frenulum (the skin that attaches your upper lip tp your gums), busted his top lip, and the cherry on the cake- knocked two of his teeth loose. 

Mom called and made an emergency dentist appointment. His teeth were fine. But I learned some great lessons that day. 

First, I learned that sometimes when you do something impressive, your dad pauses his video games and gives you a high five with respect in his eyes. 

Second, my brother is a great sport when the kick is a good kick. 

But most importantly, I learned that flying front kicks travel further than you think they do, and you shouldn’t throw one unless you want to do the damage or are sure you can control it. 

Dare.