*This is part of the series “Life Lessons.*

I am the eldest sibling. My brother is almost exactly three years and one month younger than me. I have been close to my brother from the day he was born. I visited him in the hospital shortly after his birth, wearing the best big sister shirt. I was so excited to have a younger brother.

Some of my best lessons I learned personally were with him or as a direct result of something he did. 

Many parents are apprehensive the first time they leave their kids home alone for more than a few minutes. They worry about what could happen to their kids and dread phone calls saying their house has been burned down. I’m sure, as my parents left that day with me in charge that many of those worries crossed through their minds, but I don’t think anything could have prepared them for this one. 

My brother was always a curious boy. Sometimes that curiosity gave way to impulsive and intrusive thoughts that were not easy for him to shake. Some examples include things like jumping off high ledges just because, eating things like dandelion seeds because they look like cotton candy, or chasing seagulls on an island because it’s fun only to have the same seagulls retaliate by pooping on him during lunch on the beach. 

This day, his curiosity lay with what was in the high cupboard in the corner of the house by the sliding glass door. The parents were out of the house. He wasn’t allowed in that cupboard, but who was going to stop him? Certainly not his sister.

I, having been left in charge, heard a commotion in the kitchen and knew I had to check it out. Sure enough, there was my brother climbing down from the countertop, having been caught red-handed holding something he had found up there and trying to hide it! 

We live in bear country. Alaska is known for having some of the largest grizzlies in the world. We spent several years in a remote village where going to the dump, one had to use caution because you never knew if you’d meet a bear there. Out on the islands in the bay that we’d boat to on occasion, bears were present. Even in larger populated areas, bears are a fact of life. Anchorage, AK, the most populated city in Alaska, has bears within its city limits. Children from an early age are taught bear and moose safety in our schools, camps, and childcare facilities. 

As I caught my brother climbing down, I was able to tell very quickly what he was holding based on its size and shape and the fact that I’d seen this particular item about a million times in my life. It was the bear spray. Hindsight being what it is, the bear spray probably should have been more secure, but my brother and I knew what it was, knew it wasn’t a toy, and knew that we shouldn’t touch it. Yet there he was, bear spray in hand, and all he had to say for himself was “I just want to see what it does!” 

“Bubby, you know what it does. Leave it alone. We aren’t supposed to play with it,” was my reply as I took the spray from him and put it back in the cupboard, higher up, thinking that would keep him out of it. I wasn’t as well educated about children’s behaviors at the time. Hindsight with the knowledge I have now, I should have stayed in the kitchen and gotten him onto something else, but I was barely old enough to be babysitting, and this was our first time alone. I didn’t know what I know now. 

I go back to my room, thinking that was handled, and proud of myself for saving the house from disaster. I got settled in bed, turned the music up, and was minding my business. 

That was when it hit me. 

The smell. 

The sounds of the panicking little brother. 

For those of you who have had the fortune in life of never having to learn bear safety and what bear spray is, it can be thought of as pepper spray on steroids. It is used as a deterrent for charging bears. They run at you and you spray it downwind from yourself, but at the bear when they get within a certain range, and it’s supposed to make them think again about chowing down. It is popular because it often works.

 It is NOT meant for enclosed spaces. 

And where had the brother sprayed it? 

In the kitchen, at the stove, in the same room as our English Bulldog with breathing problems. 

We panicked. I am not ashamed to admit that. 

The dog was wheezing, I could barely see through the tears in my eyes, and every breath burned. I could hear my brother crying and saying, “What do we do?!” We rushed from the house onto the back porch with the dogs, and I immediately got on the phone to call my parents, who are still to this day notorious for not answering phone calls. 

Voicemail. 

Try again. 

Voicemail. 

Try dad. 

Voicemail.

Maybe Mom this time. 

Voicemail. 

Over and over again, for what felt like eternity, I tried desperately to get a hold of the adults who would tell me what to do, and it felt in vain. 

Panicking, I called a friend and talked to their parents. We holed up in the garage until the parents finally called me back ten minutes later, and we got guidance from them, who also advised us to stay in the garage and that they were on their way home. 

No one was injured, and the dog was fine. 

My parents did their best to clean up that bear spray from the oven, but I swear our food was spicy for a while after that event, and the smell lingered for at least two weeks. The bear spray got put up more securely, but the little brother never did mess with it again. 

When I went through Navy basic training and had to face the gas masks coming off, I was scared but knew it couldn’t be worse than bear spray- and it wasn’t. 

I learned a lot that day. 

First, I learned that brothers don’t listen when you tell them no. It just makes them want to do it more. 

Second, I learned that English Bulldogs really do have issues breathing, especially in extreme environments. 

Third, I learned that in an emergency, if I can’t get hold of my parents, I am to call my dad’s best friend. 

Most important, however, is that I learned that bear spray does NOT get sprayed in the house! 

-Dare.