One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I met my now best friend back in 2023 on a dating app of all things. At the time I was getting over the separation from my ex husband, just starting to dip my toes in the water, looking to move on with my life, working on my most recent college degree, and was preparing myself for some changes coming my way. 

I was not looking for anything serious or long lasting necessarily. Just seeing what was out there. 

She was looking for love. Deep true love with devotion, a white picket fence, and a large family complete with a family dog. 

We got along well and while a romantic relationship didn’t work out for us we had a bound that formed quickly an amazingly. She was young, maturity wise at least, and struggled with boundaries- probably due to her Autism that had been masked but not managed most of her life. But she quickly became a staple in my life that has lasted the years.

I, having specialized skills in setting boundaries, giving constructive feedback, and being well versed in unconditional positive regard, helped her break some bad habits she had and taught her that it was okay to not get your way all the time as well as how to see the opposing views of other people she may be missing causing her to overreact to certain situations.

 She in turn taught me about the importance of being a little selfish from time to time, admitting when I was wrong, and the value of having the bravery to try new things even if I’m afraid. Mostly she taught me this by showing me, though it wasn’t always pretty. (logs over small streams are not her friend but we made it!)

She, along with my dog Pooper (see “Finding Joy and Support through Animal Companionship”) have been the best camping buddies. The excitement to which she has approached camping and outdoor summer activities was inflection and made me want to go above and beyond to make every one of those trips special. She- despite her fear of fire- became quite handy at adding logs to the fire and a dab hand at roasting marshmallows I must say. She also became rather brave in facing the treks to the outhouses at the camping sites on her own.

When not camping, she has been one of the best video gaming buddies I could have asked for. She’s been trying new games with me for a few years now and has helped me teach my mother how not to starve in Don’t Starve Together. She is the reason I started streaming in the first place on Twitch, so I could show her new games I thought she’d have some interest in and has even featured in my streams a couple of times in the past playing Monster Hunter Wilds and Overcooked.

She has been one of my favorite people to play board games with, willing to try the daunting big box games other important people in my life enjoy that need more people to play to have fun.

She’s become such a staple in my life for years. She was one of the people I asked for help from when I was struggling before I knew why. When I went to the hospital, she was one of the first people I notified. She doesn’t drive, but my mother, knowing how important my bestie is in my life, made special plans to make sure she was going to be able to visit me in the hospital. 

My best friend has always been, from the moment I met her, my biggest supporter. My biggest fan. She had been my shoulder to cry on, and has seen every piece of me from my worst moments to my greatest triumphs. 

This week of writing had seemed to take on a natural theme of community and finding support. One thing my mother always talked to me about growing up is that you don’t need a lot of friends, just a few good close ones to really make a difference. She’s right. I have a lot of people I know but only a few who really really really know me. Everything about me even my biggest failures and weaknesses. I’m fortunate though to have those few. My best friend has been a godsend in this last year and I foresee a future where she will continue to be so very important in my life. 

Bestie, this post is for you. Know that your important to me and I hope that just as much as I have felt seen by you- you have felt seen by me. Know that as much as you’ve been there for me these last few years is as much, if not more, as I will continue to strive to be there for you.

Love you Bestie. 

-Dare.