“The greatness of animals is that they are just themselves.” – Alice Walker

In December 2024, I had a pretty good sense that something was not right. How could I not have that sense with all the symptoms I’ve listed previously (read any of my previous posts for a more complete list)? But, as also shown in previous posts, I deal with stress and hardship with humor and play, and it was often that I would mention to those that care about me, “if things get worse, I want a service animal. Particularly a Great Dane for mobility and Pressure Therapy.” 

I really was joking at the time, though I love my father’s derpy Great Dane and want one of my own so bad someday! I really never thought a service animal might be an actual reality for my future. Fortunately, at this time, it is still not quite a reality yet, though the possibility exists that it still may become one someday. I did, however, realize more how much I actually do rely on the animals I currently have for their company and emotional support. 

I love my animals. Anyone who knows me will tell you that is the truth. At the current moment, I have two, a cat and a dog, both from the island of Guam. They bring me a great sense of happiness daily, and have for a while now. 

Along with the new disabilities I have been diagnosed with in the last year, I have suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD- not to be confused with Bipolar Disorder, which is similar, but not the same) most of my life. Unstable emotions are a reality in my life, and some days I can seem insane, flitting from manic highs to depressive lows in the blink of an eye even when medicated (which I am by choice because it makes my life easier). People judge- but you know who doesn’t? 

Your dog, who just wants to be loved and who thinks of you as the center of his whole universe. And boy am I the center of Poopers (yes his name is Pooper. He was a stinker pot as a pupper and the name stuck. No, I’m never allowed to name another dog.) 

Pooper is one of those dogs that comes into your life and gives himself over to you completely. He has slept in my room beside my bed from the first day we brought him home. There was a line in our kitchen in Guam that he was not allowed to cross, and he knew it, but when I cooked, he’d lie as close to that line as he could and stare holes into my back just waiting for me to let him in or come back out. I would, at times, let Pooper out of my room in the morning when my Ex-Husband went to work and if I was not up by 10:30 a.m., Pooper would stand at the bottom of the stairs and bark until I got my bottom out of that bed. Many a day, he was the only reason I got up. He is my camping buddy, my hiking buddy, my cuddle buddy. He lies on my feet as I write, play video games, or read. He sits with me as I stare at the sky or enjoy the wilderness, watching to make sure we are safe. He is one of the best dogs I could have ever asked for, and I will be devastated when he leaves this world. 

And let’s not forget the cat. The cat (named Engine, though she doesn’t know it) is my best snuggler. She has a quirk about her where she will suck on fuzzy blankets hooked in her front tooth like they are a pacifier as she kneeds the blanket with her murder mittens and, despite it leaving a huge puddle of kitty slobber on the bed, it is one of the most endearing things I have ever seen in my whole life. She is playful, independent, loves Pooper, and runs the house at times. She, too, will follow me everywhere I go to include following me with great protesting meows around the block as I take the dog on a walk if she is outside. If I spend too long upstairs, she must know what I’m doing and will brave the Great Dane to ensure my safety. When I go to the bathroom, she is coming too. If I sleep upstairs with the niece and nephew, well, she’s sleeping there too. 

The pets love me, I love them, and it is a joy to have them in my life. 

While Pooper and Engine are no service animals trained in mobility aide and deep pressure therapy, they are the best companions I ever could have asked for during this time. They have always been there for me, and that hasn’t changed. 

What I mean to show in this post is that your community doesn’t just have to be the people in your life. It can be the pets you share your home with as well. Pets have this magic about them that makes everything seem less lonely, less difficult, and can give you a reason to keep moving forward, even if you can’t for yourself. When the world seems dark, there’s nothing like a dog who has devoted his whole life and world to you, barking at the bottom of the stairs to get you up because letting him down is not an option. When you can’t quite find the strength to get out of bed, there’s nothing quite like the comfort of a cat purring happily by your hand to give you comfort and let you know it’ll be okay. 

Find your community and build it. And don’t forget that not all your confidence needs to be put in humans. Animals have a special magic about them. They are themselves and allow us to be ourselves, loving us with their whole hearts, where we let them. 

-Dare.