Have you ever had a time when you didn’t want to do anything? You’re tired, drained, unmotivated, and just cannot be bothered to care enough even to put in the effort to make things happen. That is me today and a bit this week. I just cannot bring myself even to want to care. 

I am sitting at my computer right now trying to write about mental health and stress management tools, and all I really want to do is go back to bed. Not necessarily to sleep but to curl up in a dark room alone with a good book or something to listen to, or my phone fully charged, and just focus on existing. And I’m not depressed per se. Oftentimes, lack of interest and motivation is an early sign of depression or a sign that one should seek help, but for me right now, that isn’t the case. I am really, actually quite happy with my life right at this moment. I’ve had so much success in these last few months. Just about every week, I have managed to get out a blog post. I have 10 podcast episodes out. I have begun two new hobbies, have been sleeping well, and have cut down drastically on my Monster Energy drink consumption, which is a major win for me. I even have a job lined up to start within the next couple of months, potentially alongside my brother, with whom I have a really good working relationship. On a personal note, I have gotten closer to my brother, reconnected with an old friend whom I have missed a lot, grown and nurtured my relationship with my future sister-in-law and that part of the family, and have gotten over many fears I had to this point when it came to interacting with my partner’s family. Stuff is going well- which doesn’t mean I can’t be depressed. I mean, obviously, some people get depressed even with success, but I know I am not depressed because I don’t feel depressed. This isn’t depression, lack of motivation, it is more tired and fatigued or lazy due to the weather. 

It’s been cold and rainy, I have issues with temperature regulation and have been waking up cold, and all I can think of right now as I sit here trying to write is curling up in bed with warm blankets, coffee, and a good book. I don’t want to do anything else. I don’t even want to play video games. I just want to get warm in my cave and hibernate like a bear. 

I have more or less concluded that fighting what my body very clearly wants and needs today is going to cause more issues than good. How can I sit here talking to people about listening to their bodies and taking care of their mental health if I am not willing to do the same? I have a disability. I am fatigued. I am not mentally checked in this week. I cannot say that pushing through today would be beneficial to me when just typing this is giving me a massive headache. So, today, my blog post on mental health is this: sometimes we need to take a break, and today I need to take a break. 

I will see you all next week for the usual blog. I might still record a podcast, but it will be similar to these lines. 

Rest, and hopefully next week things will start to warm up, and I will be more ready to take on the week.